5 Year Breakup Date Again Reddit

The cyberspace is debating whether it's okay for a xxx-year-erstwhile to appointment a nineteen-yr-old — and it's generating impassioned responses from people on both sides of the fence.

It all started when Reddit user u/hazelnutmacchiato1 posted a question to the popular discussion customs r/AskReddit: "What is your opinion on a 30-year-onetime dating a 19-year-one-time?"

The question rapidly went viral, garnering nearly xx,000 replies in the span of 24 hours. Many people felt similar the age gap between a xix-year-old and a 30-yr-old was huge ruby-red flag:

two. "I would not. But if a close friend did, I'd suggest circumspection. Power balances and how well they chronicle to each other could be issues. I wouldn't, but to each his own."

—u/checkyourlibido

three. "Personally, I call back it'south weird. A 19-year-onetime is basically fresh outta high school, barely an developed mentally. A 30-year-old is a full-grown adult who is way older, mentally and physically."

—u/ShadowFire786

four. "One-half your age plus seven. That's my full general rule for dating. I'm xxx myself so the youngest I should date would exist 22 or 23, if you round upwards for months."

—u/gamodeo

five. "Equally a 29-yr-quondam I don't engagement someone unless they are 24 to 25+. It's more than so the maturity gap and the phase in which well-nigh gals are in between 22 to 24 — right outta college, not actually settled downwards yet, still partying like they're in college, and don't know what they want. I know it's non the aforementioned for everyone, but that'due south the main reason."

—u/Shiggs13

six. "I'1000 a 30-year-one-time. And I wouldn't trust some other 30-year-erstwhile who would WANT to appointment a 19-twelvemonth-former because it is doubtful at that place are good motives."

—u/kpsdarlin

7. "I thought it was okay when I was in my 20s, just now that I'yard in my 30s, information technology's a large no-no."

—u/timelesscurium

8. "The younger person should exist wary of the kind of person who is in their 30s and pursuing someone who is still in their teens. Why practise they not want someone who is closer to their ain age? Is there something they do that someone who is a flake older would recognize equally being a ruby flag?"

—u/lau_wings

Some commenters shared their own negative experiences with age-gap relationships:

9. "At 19, I dated a 32-year-old man...at the time I didn't see a problem with information technology. Now that I'm 29, I think it'south disgusting and predatory. Information technology was my most toxic and devastating relationship and has scarred me for life, I'm certain."

—u/daytime_nightime

10. "I (18M) met her (30F) when I was moving into the flat she was moving out of... We were together about a year, and were talking about marriage when my parents asked me to come dwelling alone one weekend. Stepping away helped me to see all of the possibilities. A fiery breakup ensued... She was done having her adventures. I needed to have my own."

—u/Boba-Fret

11. "Met my ex-husband when I was barely 21, and he was 29. Married for 24 years, most of them miserable for me. I estimate the simple reason is that I grew up and changed, and he was already grown and stayed the same. We've since both moved on to much more than uniform partners, merely he still says, 'I never should have married someone so young!'"

—u/Few_Penalty_9916

12. "I was dating a 33-yr-old man at eighteen. He started grooming me at 17. I'yard 24 now and even at this historic period I've started to realize how disgusting it would exist to try to date someone that young. I would never in a meg years think it would be OK for me to date a teenager, let lonely at 33??"

—u/dillydallyally97

13. "I dated someone 20 when I was 25, and even that was drastically unlike. Being an adult, paying bills, and starting a career vs. someone living at home and beingness a full-time educatee. It made a huge difference and fifty-fifty though we both eventually were on the aforementioned level, at that place was always something unbalanced in how nosotros started."

—u/imfatletsprty

Merely not everyone is opposed to the idea of a 30-year-old dating a nineteen-year-old. Some defended the thought, and shared their positive experiences with age-gap relationships:

14. "I met my wife when I was xx, and she was 38. Been married now for xv years and however going stiff. We have like outlooks on life, we go forth brilliantly, and never fence. Happiest I've ever been, and wouldn't change a thing. Information technology works for some, age isn't everything. The just downside is she gets to retire before I do, but having a job I love doesn't make that much of an effect."

—u/TheDraggo

15. "My husband and I have been married five years. We got married when I was 21 and he was 41. When we met, I was years alee of my peers because of a smack of reality with me having my son and starting my career early on. I really found his maturity attractive and he thought the same. Five years later, nosotros are more perfect for each other than before. Life is then wonderful when you're with the right person! A lot of people observe this relationship taboo and nosotros definitely had some critics. We but continue to be our happy selves and bear witness the world that it's a true relationship full of substance and not a fling, a mid-life crisis, daddy issues, etc. (We've heard them all.)"

—u/repulsive_music4011

16. "Even if information technology doesn't work out, the older person should leave the younger person in a better identify or mindset than before they got together. I dated someone 15 years older than me, and we bankrupt up without whatsoever animosity... We are however friends besides. Honestly, he helped me set up a college bar every bit to how I want to feel and exist treated by my partner. He really is a not bad guy, but we are in different places in our lives so it wouldn't be uniform long-term."

—u/Moonwomb

17. "Define 'dating.' Going on a date or two, casual consensual fun? Sure. Go for it, make sure both of y'all savour the heck out of information technology. Attempt at a long-term relationship? Iffy. Very iffy. Possible it works out, but unlikely."

—u/free_dimension1459

18. "My at present-husband and I met when I was eighteen and he was 32. Xiii years on we are still together, nonetheless happy, and I've watched my friends' (who were with more than 'age advisable' people) marriages and relationships crash and burn. I don't think it's about age, I think it'due south about mental and emotional readiness to commit to a person."

—u/midgeygem42

19. "When I was 21 I dated a 39-year-old, and to be honest it was a smashing human relationship. Didn't work out in the long run, since nosotros were at different points in our lives, only it was a smashing year and I wouldn't change a thing."

—u/Syntheticgrapefruit

twenty. "I feel historic period is a false metric in a way. Every bit people date and learn and grow in life, there is no guarantee anyone will stay together. The age gap is another variable for sure, but I think there are and so many variables. It doesn't make a lot of sense to effort to predict the future of any relationship. Even though we all endeavor."

—u/overhandright

Alright, what do Yous call back? Can a 30-yr-old and a 19-year-onetime ethically engagement? Have yous been in an age-gap relationship before? Did it piece of work out? Share all your thoughts and feelings in the comments, please.

Annotation: Some responses take been edited for length and/or clarity.

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Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/age-gap-relationships-advice-reddit